Student Spotlight: A.J. Tyler

“It's the most rewarding thing to help someone achieve what they're capable of achieving,” shared A.J. Tyler, a second-year student in the Wright Institute’s Counseling Psychology Program. “People usually already have the tools that they need and they just need a little reminder.” Throughout A.J.'s life, the common thread has been supporting and mentoring others—whether as a big brother, manager, father, or future therapist.

A.J. was born and raised in the Bay Area, where he lived with his parents and three younger siblings. "I have a mixed race background - my dad's black, my mom is half Italian, half Puerto Rican,” he explained. "As the oldest child, with my youngest sibling thirteen years younger, I took on a lot of responsibility." Their family lived in a very predominantly white neighborhood in San Jose, which had an impact on A.J. and his siblings. “Being the only family of color in the neighborhood was definitely very formative in a lot of ways I didn't realize until I was in college,” he reflected. “I think the first time I had another black kid in my class was 6th or 7th grade.”

For his undergraduate studies, A.J. attended San José State University. “From the age of five until I was 23, I wanted to be an astronaut,” he shared. “That was my singular focus, so I went to San José State because they had a top notch aerospace program.” For three years, he was an aerospace engineering major, but then one day he had an epiphany. “I was in an engineering lab and realized it was a room full of people on computers for hours on end and I’m actually a really social person,” he recalled. “I was so focused on that long term goal that I had lost the ‘Do I enjoy the work?’ piece.” On paper, he still really enjoyed the subject, but the actual work just wasn't for him. After this realization, A.J. changed his major to business marketing, which meant his degree took an additional two years to complete. During that time, he spent a semester abroad in the UK, which he described as a life-changing experience. A.J. graduated with a bachelor’s degree in business marketing in 2010.

From 2009-2014, A.J. was an Inside Sales Manager at Powergate LLC/Sager Electronics in Santa Clara, California. It was a start-up run by his friend’s father, so A.J. decided to give it a try. Having grown up with an engineering mindset, it took A.J. a while to adjust to the sales environment. Making cold calls in particular was a huge growth edge for him. “The best part was when I was managing a sales team because I really love mentoring and teaching,” he explained. “I really felt like I thrived in that relational aspect.” The biggest thing A.J. took away from this experience was the knowledge that he enjoyed mentoring and facilitating the growth of others.

A.J. worked for Cisco Meraki in San Francisco from 2014-2015 as their NYC Inside Sales Manager. He joined the company just after the acquired Meraki and described the environment as “comically tech.” They flew him to NYC every few weeks, where his job was to wine and dine potential customers at the company’s expense, which he enjoyed greatly at the time. “It was the brightest group of intelligent, hardworking, driven people, but I also remember being at the job and realizing it still wasn't scratching that itch,” he reflected. “I was looking for something a little more fulfilling.”

In January 2015, A.J. got engaged and began to plan his wedding and honeymoon with his wife-to-be. Both avid travelers, they knew they wanted their honeymoon to include a few “bucket list” items. “On that list was going to Antarctica for me because I wanted to go to every continent,” A.J. explained. “My wife wanted to go to the Galapagos Islands because she's a big Darwin zoology nerd.” They quickly realized that those two locations were 12,000 miles apart and began thinking about how long they would need for the trip. Initially, they were thinking 3-4 weeks, then they began to consider lengthier options. “We had this dream of going big and doing something bold,” he recalled. “I was basically done with this path in my career and my wife was kind of done with her current job.” They decided to throw caution to the wind, put their belongings in storage, and set off in November 2015 for what they planned to be a one-year backpacking adventure.

The journey ended up taking sixteen months from start to finish, with the couple returning home in March of 2016. “You learn a lot about yourself and your relationship when you don’t have your normal support system or routine,” he shared. “We basically planned five pillars, so like five must-do things, and in between those things, we would just see what came up, who we met, and those kinds of adventures.” One of the highlights of the trip for A.J. was going on an Antarctic expedition, where he was able to camp on the snow for a night. “You look off on a horizon and realize that there are no humans besides the people you're with for 1,200 miles,” he reflected. “It just gives you that sense of majesty and like insignificance in the grand scheme of the universe that I think is really important.” He also loved the experience they had tracking gorillas in the Ubeza Impenetrable Forest in Uganda. “Gorillas are very family oriented, so you go out with an ambassador, a human who has been kind of adopted into the gorilla family,” he recalled. “I just remember grinning ear to ear the entire time because the gorilla was sitting right in front of me.” They also climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro and went on a 40-day camping safari, among many other amazing experiences, before returning to the Bay Area.

Soon after their return, A.J.’s wife got pregnant with their first child. At the time, she was on an upward trajectory in her career and A.J. had always been a caregiver by nature, so they decided he would stay home to care for their son and later their daughter as well. “I think, because of some of my childhood experiences, I just really like the idea of being able to give my time to my kids and help shape their early years,” he explained. “When the opportunity came up, we were in a position to be able to make it work financially and my wife was really supportive of it, so it just felt like a natural fit.” A.J. described the experience as extremely challenging and rewarding at the same time, especially during the pandemic. Although this setup was a perfect solution for A.J. and his family, they did experience some judgement from others. “Being a male caregiver is such a rare thing and a male caregiver of color is even more unique,” he reflected. “I certainly ran into people that were uncomfortable with the idea of my wife being the primary or a man that didn't work - it’s amazing how much society places those judgments on.”

A.J. had his first personal experience with therapy after returning from traveling the world. “It was my wife’s idea to try therapy and her pro-therapy stance and normalization of seeking out help for mental health gave me permission to try it for myself,” he explained. “Because I grew up in a family where the view of therapy was that it's fine for other people, but you're probably okay.” A.J. found a therapist he connected with and their work together has been transformative over the years. Despite a hiatus when A.J. moved to Oakland, he still sees the same therapist today. It was in his own therapy, in a discussion about his future, that A.J. began to seriously consider psychology as a career path. “I think being a therapist is something I've been considering for a long time,” he admitted. “Even when I was in my undergrad phase, I kind of liked the idea of it, but thought, ‘Who am I at this age to counsel anyone?’ so I put it on the back burner.” Leery of diving headfirst into a new career, he tried out a few community college classes to make sure psychology was the right fit.

After he decided to pursue a degree in psychology, it was time to figure out which program in his area would be the best fit for him. “My therapist shared that he worked with a lot of people who came through the Wright Institute’s Counseling Psychology program and they all seemed like they really knew their stuff,” he shared. “So I did my interviews, talked to people, applied to Cal State East Bay and UCSF as well, but the Wright experience was the best one by far.” After applying to the Wright, A.J. realized he had no experience in mental health and reached out to Admissions Director, Johnny Pitts, to see if he had any recommendations. “He had a list of places that people have gotten experience and they would recommend,” he recalled. “Alameda County Crisis Support Services jumped out to me as something that was a worthwhile cause and a really good testbed for these types of conversations and how much I can hold emotionally for other people.” Beginning in April 2023, A.J. spent a year volunteering as a phone counselor with Alameda County Crisis Support Services and gained valuable experience before beginning his master’s studies.

A.J. has found that a career in psychology is not altogether very different from a career in sales or the job of a parent. “In sales, I learned to talk to people, listen for subtext, direct a conversation, and so many other soft skills,” he reflected. “And being a parent is all about balancing logistics and the need for self care while caring for someone else.” On the surface, it may look like he has made huge transitions, but to A.J., it’s all just a natural progression and his therapist has become like an unofficial supervisor on his journey to become a therapist himself.

One element of the Wright Institute’s Counseling Program that A.J. particularly enjoys is the cohort model, which allows students to form close relationships with a small group of their peers who they take all of their courses with. “It's just such a wonderful group of people and I love the thought and care that is present in the room for every discussion,” he shared. “It feels like we’re reinforcing and supporting each other’s growth and I’ve made some strong connections.” These connections will serve as an amazing network and foundation for A.J. and his cohort mates as they head out into the field. “Especially with a lot of things going on in the world right now, it's really supportive to have a space where you know that people are there because they want to go out into the world and do good and care,” he reflected. “I think with all the things that can be troubling, that one is really reassuring.” Some of A.J.’s best memories of his time at the Wright have been gatherings and celebrations with his cohort, picnicking in a nearby park or sharing a drink at a local bar.

During his time at the Wright thus far, there are several professors who’ve had a lasting impact on A.J. “Professor Beth Greivel is so amazing and such a warm presence,” he recalled. “She was our very first class the very first day every week and she would do these big check-ins and it really facilitated our coming together as a cohort.” A.J. also enjoyed his classes with Professors MacKenzie Stuart and Jenna Robinson, both of whom he described as hilarious and well-informed instructors. “I think in general, I've been really impressed by the quality of the professors,” he explained. “I've always wanted to be a teacher as well, so seeing them in this role, it makes it easy for me to imagine myself being in a role like that in the future.”

In his second year in the program, A.J. has taken on the role of student mentor as well as co-facilitator of the Multi-Cultural and Mixed Race Affinity Group for students in the Counseling Program. When asked why, his answer was simple: “One of the things I was really looking to get out of the program was connection.” It certainly sounds like he has found it. Mentoring is something that A.J. has known was a strength of his since his time in inside sales and he’s glad to step back into that role. He finds great joy in helping his peers overcome roadblocks and succeed. A.J. took on the role of affinity group co-facilitator because of the amazing experience he had in the group last year. “It was such a fun space to be in and so beneficial on so many levels,” he reflected. “I just wanted to pay it forward - if somebody could use that space and I could give them the same support that I got, that would be really rewarding.”

For his practicum this year, A.J. is a trainee at Bay Area Community Resources (BACR) in El Cerritos, California. “Everyone I talked to said BACR was the gold standard of supervision and what I really wanted was a quality supervisor that I could connect with and learn from,” he explained. “I had a really good conversation with Keith, who runs the program, at the practicum fair last year, so I followed the vibes and it’s been great.” A.J.’s biggest challenge at BACR is that he’s working in an elementary school setting, where you have to integrate into the organizational system instead of having your own office or schedule. “I'm fortunate that I am pretty flexible and can fly by the seam of my pants,” he laughed. “Otherwise, it would feel near impossible because the schedules are always changing!” At this point in the year, A.J. is settling into his placement and looks forward to learning more from his supervisor about skill building and the formation of groups as the year progresses.

In his limited free time, A.J. enjoys playing video games and “making things” in a variety of ways. He enjoys elaborate baking projects like the three-tiered unicorn cake he made for his daughter’s birthday and making his own Halloween costumes including 3D printed components. One of the biggest challenges of A.J.’s graduate school experience has been finding a balance between his studies and his home life. “I have this thing where I love doing things and keep saying yes,” he admitted. “I wouldn't change it at all, but finding the balance to show up for my kids at night, and still find time to do my homework has been hard.” A.J. considers himself amazingly fortunate to have an incredibly supportive partner who has been his cheerleader throughout his time at the Wright Institute. Practicum has really cut into his spare time this year, but he still regularly makes time to build models and Legos with his son and daughter.

A.J. isn’t sure where life will take him after graduation, but he’s excited for all of the opportunities on the horizon. He imagines he’ll have a private practice at some point in the future and would love the opportunity to teach, but he’s reluctant to narrow his scope. “I'm really just trying to soak up experience and not plan too much,” A.J. explained. “I want to see what the universe throws at me.” In the meantime, he’s focused on working hard, meeting people, and making connections.